Quart Sized Baggies

We think this commentary requires a minimal amount of introduction.
Namaste,
Euroswydd, Reiki Clowne and Mort

I’m leaving in less than two weeks for a much anticipated trip to the Bordeaux region of France. Since 911 there has been much ado about protecting ourselves from terrorism and to that end grandiose speeches oozing with declarations have prompted equally grand gestures—uniformed stern faced monitors, screeching chimes, warning bells, flashing lights, x-ray vision and general to extreme inconvenience—to proliferate at airport security checkpoints. Now one must unpack, unclothe and then redo what took days in a matter of minutes, as those behind shuffle forward to meet the same fate.
Add to that mix the incident of the past year. A “credible/substantiated” terrorist plot involving the anticipated employment of gels, liquids, pastes, pressurized containers and other solutions and items of similar consistency surfaced to wreak havoc for air travelers. Now one cannot bring such items on board unless their containers can be fit in a quart—not a pint, gallon or any other capacity—size zip lock baggie. For those of us who do not use that size or don’t have enough of the offending items to fit a bag that large, logic decrees that a smaller size should suffice. Apparently logic has nothing to do with it as a friend of mine discovered recently after presenting her pint sized bag with minimal items to the security personnel. She was chastised, provided with a quart sized bag and sent away to repackage and begin the entire security checkpoint procedure all over again. Such rigid, blind, illogical adherence to rules and regulations does not promote confidence that these officials possess the capacity to keep me and mine safe.
However, in spite of the fact that I find this all just ridiculous, since I do want to be allowed on board with as little fuss and muss as possible and finding myself in the grocery store yesterday, I perused the appropriate aisle for baggies. Variations on the quart size theme abounded. Since I only need one not 50, 200 or even 25, I opted for the cheapest box that coincidentally had only 22—this involved easy math to figure out 2/$5.00 for 25 as opposed to 2/$4.00 for 20 and so on and so forth. Hopefully I will go on 22 trips before I have to use either a different size or none at all. As I put the box in the cart an airplane’s picture caught my eye. Affixed to the front of the box a sticker boasted that the contents “meets airport security guidelines”. In the not so distant past baggies were for sandwiches or storing leftovers and didn’t zip much less conform to ineffectual security guidelines.
Apparently the latest advertising hype will revolve around a quart size baggie’s aptitude for providing a consumer/traveler the ability to pass inspection with ease prior to boarding a plane. Touting zip locks and holding full baggies upside down while contents stay within are rapidly becoming as antiquated as those outdated models that close by folding over.
I wonder what the anthropologists of the next century will conjecture about our culture when they uncover evidence of our habits. Or will they be contained within saran wrap with not a thought that hasn’t been pumped into their systems.

Buyers Palpitations

During our time of study we’ve perused many varied and interesting commentaries by Earthling’s on life’s vagaries but reading of the numerous largely ignored atrocities such as the Katrina aftermath challenges our ability to view the actions of this world with neutrality.
For instance, if it was possible for a private business to get packages (admittedly at high cost) anywhere in the country within a limited time frame then why, given the power and influence of the US government, were the victims of that Hurricane still without adequate help over a year after the event.?
Even though we know these are historical events long ago played out and over with it’s still disturbing viewing the cruel practices of these Humanoids. They are so contrary to our own.
While being thought provoking the following commentary should bring a smile to the reader’s face.

Namaste and Peace,
Euroswydd, Reiki Clowne and Mort


Buyer’s Palpitations
In order to fulfill the initial step of the purchase and sales agreement on a recent property acquisition it was necessary to get a certified check to the escrow agent as quickly as possible. Unable to drive the three and a half hour distance because of work constraints I chose Fed Ex due to past reliability. Initiation of the process complete I left the Fed Ex facility clutching the all important tracking number.
My usual easing from the left over haze of the previous night’s slumber into the activities of the day was cut short the next morning when, after typing in the tracking number, Fed Ex revealed that my all important package was in Memphis, Tennessee. Once my heart stopped palpitating and functional breathing became possible again I checked all the information given to Fed Ex and found it to be accurate. Telling myself they knew what they were doing I calculated the hours it would take to fly the check back to New Hampshire.
At the conjectured time I apprehensively typed in the tracking number and found that yes indeed the package had boomeranged in a northerly direction. Although in a neighboring state it was at least on a truck and slated for delivery. Two hours later the package was deposited on the desk of the escrow agent.
Now I’m sure (or at least trying to convince myself) that the powers that be at Fed Ex picked the most efficacious route and I do understand the concept of connections, however, going from New Hampshire to Tennessee with a pit stop in Vermont before returning to New Hampshire seems a bit of a stretch. It occurs to me to wonder if those establishing Fed Ex connections might not be related to those running the country (or those who voted in those stumbling the country).
On second thought they can’t be. Even though the process seems wasteful and nonsensical at least Fed Ex delivers what its constituents (or clients) have voted (paid) for. If they didn’t they would be out of business.