I read this in an syndicated advice column and thought the readers of the present century might be interested to learn that the "advanced" Humanoids of the 21st Century still struggled with the most basic of issues.
Adios,
Mort
Given this country's advanced technological and medical prowess you would think that something as long lived and integral as dating would, by now, be a formulated, trouble free, precursor to wedded bliss. Unfortunately, to date, humankind has been unable to cure the "common" cold nor found foolproff solutions for dealing with the vagaries of dating.
There are many self described "experts" eager to offer their advice to those embroiled in the dating scene. Unfortunately, each situation is unique unto itself and there are no absolutes when it comes to human interactions.
Now that panic has set in and you're about ready to throw in the towel and resign yourself to a single life replete with video's and frozen dinners let me assure you there are strategies that when implemented can ease the dating riptides.
First and foremost be yourself, not some trumped up version of what you think your dream date will find appealing. Naturally, on the first date each of you will be on your best behavior but that's different from pretending to be someone you're not. Ultimately, if the relationship moves beyond that first date you are going to have to admit that you're not an expert on astrophysics, gardening or whatever. Many people think that the initial pretending will attract and then it won't matter who they present after that...let me tell you, that ploy never worked with me!
Second point of note has to do with first impressions. They are difficult to shake and a bad one may prove detrimental to your cause. Paying attention to physical appearance--being neat, well groomed, appropriately dressed for whtever the outing entails--goes a long way towards creating a relaxed atmosphere conducive to romance.
Showing respect for your date's religious, politica and other beliefs is imperative. Obviously you will be feeling each other out, trying to find out what makes the other tick but by no making absolute pronouncments or climbing on the proverbial soapbox embarassment and hurt can be avoided. Nobody really likes a pedantic blowhard and there's plenty of time to discuss important personal issues and persuade to your way of thinking once you've established a rapport.
A fourth suggestion is to avoid cramming all your credentials into a single date. It's not necessary to go into what you may think are your most worthwhile attributes whether physical or otherwise. Many people are turned off by someone who wears their resume on their sleeve. They would rather find out what you're about through interactions than boasting.
A final tip has to do with recognizing and acknowledging your date's unique personal tastes and preferences. Remembering that he or she is fond of a particular book, wine, play, hobby or outdoor activity and giving them a gift or arranging an outing based on that personal interest wins many brownie points. We all want to feel special and catering to our particular interests means so much more than being the recipients of stereotypical, generic, gender specific presentations.
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